Friday, January 14, 2011

How Will You Move Through the World This Year? Really?


My three-year old son gets more homework in preschool than I ever received in four years of public high school. The back of my car is filled with paper mache creations, curriculum updates, parent surveys, volunteer packets and art work I’ve regretfully confused as birds when they were actually planes resulting in a tantrum of massive proportions by the misunderstood artist in his car seat. This week, however, the lesson plan gave me some interesting food for thought. The children were asked to choose “one word that best describes how they will move through the world in 2011.” The responses were varied, vibrant and filled with vigor. Some children chose to dance, others chose to hop, walk, run, slide, and in the case of my plane making Picasso he chose to march (specifying he would do so in a marching band). This one word lesson plan left me wondering how I would move through the world this year. For a so-called fire sign I am filled with passion, but the flames simmer when it comes to confrontation. I’ll often be far more concerned with the feelings of others than the well being of my own and this temperament creates a scenario where you end up merely surviving instead of truly striving. There is much more in life then simply making it through, so this year I’m choosing to stomp through the world. Not an angry stomp or a militant stomp or a throwback to Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation stomp, but a steady one foot and then another and then another stomp toward my dreams come true. I’m endeavoring to seek the desires of my heart with the same visionary verve a classroom of preschoolers possess on a daily basis. That also means my neighbor in the condo complex that keeps parking over the lines in the stall will finally get a well written note today because amidst the things I call my own are the right to park my car without crashing into a poll. So how will you move through the world this year? Do tell? Sincerely, Really???

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A Tale of Two Cities: But Things May Not Always Be What They Seem. Really!!!


Despite my new years toast, Christmas cheer, and my “by all means ignore the hacking cough gesture” handed out to neighbors or the passersby, over the past three weeks I have suffered from a cold, strep throat, a double ear infection and eventually bronchitis.  At the start of this germ-infested journey, I visited an urgent care center in a rather affluent southern California area named after a fruit (you can figure it out from there). In this center, which looked more like a health spa, I was greeted with immediate deference and care. Like a sprinter out of the starting blocks, no more than five minutes after filling out my paper work I was sitting inside of a patient room reporting my laundry list of symptoms to a seemingly attentive doctor. Her reply came in the form of a question: “Do you want to be well by New Years Eve?” I nodded hesitantly because New Years Eve was a mere 24 hours away and I wasn’t convinced I was in the offices of a miracle doctor. There was no looking in my throat, no breathe deep dance between me and a stethoscope. While standing in the same position, she began to write me a list of medications that would no doubt ensure I would be clinking glasses with my girlfriends at the stroke of midnight the following day. From the infamous Z-pack, to pseudoephedrine, prescription strength Motrin, nasal spray and a concoction of candy coated prescriptions of my choosing I was wished a happy new year, complimented on my work for the local college and offered to be billed for my five dollar co-pay. I imagine if I requested so, I could have opened a tab. With a cloudy head, a full medicine cabinet and a new found realization why the reality shows chronicling the housewives and entitled teens of this city all find themselves on celebrity rehab, I managed to get worse instead of better. Days later, I called my primary care physician and with my “so called good work in the community” I was told there was no need to drive down and yet another prescription was called in. After uncontrollable shakes and fevers that persisted through the night, I did revisit the city named after a juice and it was eventually determined I had strep throat and an ear infection. The plethora of drugs I was already on would cover those things so there was no reason to perform any more tests...that is, until I woke from a nap and couldn’t breathe. In an attempt to fend off the melodrama that can come so natural to a creative mind, I convinced myself of course I can breathe. If I can talk I can clearly breathe. Hours later there was no more internal dialogue, the shortness of breathe was so palpable that the local ER in a less lucrative area of Los Angeles took me from lobby to back room in 35 minutes (more than the 5 minute wait at the health spa), but still pretty fast considering. I sat on a gurney alongside a 96 year old man who shared with me the righteousness of his church, a ranting drug seeking woman who was working her way toward a police detail, a teenager bleeding from so many places I couldn’t tell if he was jumped or involved in a red paint gun attack and loud talking nurses and doctors who threw witty banter over their shoulders, translating multiple languages as best they could and effectively ignoring the stench of an adult in full diaper shrouded only by a thin curtain. In this new city, I was greeted with a different type of doctor. She was calm but curt, diligent but direct. She had that “take no guff” maternal quality paired with an “I can do this in my sleep if I could even get any sleep” demeanor about her. From breathing treatments to chest x-rays and a multitude of tests in between, there was no discussing about my “role in the community” or what drugs I preferred. She eventually diagnosed me with bronchitis bordering on pneumonia and she gave me some free advice for the road. “Don’t allow yourself to fall prey to professional liabilities.” She defined this as being, “so educated and accomplished that people give you what you want instead of give you what you need.” In a world where people get shot in the name of democracy (talk about professional liabilities) and unnamed heroes prevail amidst the tragedies of homegrown terrorism, lets clink our glasses this new year to the doctors, nurses, teachers, preachers, artists, activists and wide-eyed children who do the right thing even when no one is watching. This is a story of two cities and rest assure I know how fortunate I am to be in the position to tell this story. I am employed, I have health insurance and I am blessed because I have choices. Annie Dillard has suggested what separates man from animal is that humans have the ability to choose. I’d add what makes some people superhuman, is how they heroically respond in the absence of choices and in the presence of perilous professional liabilities. 

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A Random Thing Happened on the Way to Buy Dollar Tacos.




So my grandmother kinda implied today that “blogging is for someone who has no life.” Now she said some nicer things before and after that paired with a lifetime of supporting all my dreams so,  “Don’t Cry for me Argentina” (excuse my song break), however what I found even more profound about her assertion was the brazen boldness, hard earned headiness and an authenticity that simply couldn’t be denied.  I guess for most of us everything we do is moving toward or away from the life we want to lead. Then you throw in life’s detours and getting that life can seem as unattainable as having your name called at the DMV. To be able to walk through the world with a valiant and intrepid approach should be applauded. Bare-naked candor is what I call that and I was thinking about said nakedness when I decided to make a pit stop at a local Jack in the Box. What better way to ponder getting a life than over the finance saving creation of two tacos for a mere 99 cents. As I scrounged around in my car for exact change (there is a sense of satisfaction when you can literally buy lunch without even breaking a dollar), I noticed the passenger in the car before me getting out and heading toward the trunk. Now this vehicle is already at the front of the line, but the sense of urgency they conveyed while scouring through their treasure chest led me to muster some patience. After two trips back inside the car to ask the driver a question and a final trip to the trunk while the rest of us in the drive through sighed heavily, she finally found what she had been looking for. In broad daylight, bare-naked candor, she pulled out a bottle of Hennessey and proceeded to pour the contents into an empty water bottle. I’ll save you my outrage about drinking and driving because I highly doubt she, the passenger, was the only one drinking.  I’ll also save you my judgments on what leads people to brown liquor at 11:00 a.m. on a Wednesday, for those things are better reserved for bad reality TV or my nightly prayers, but in this “sincerely really” rant I am mostly astonished at the audacious manner in which they held up the line for their cocktail break. The cashier motioned them to hurry, the car behind me began inching forward as if hitting me would make them hurry up, and I sat in mouth dropping awe thinking, Really??? Well this makes my Grammy’s boldness seem tame. What they failed to realize is a police officer was also craving some saturated fat from the world’s most famous Jack. The cop was inside, but through the drive through window he managed to witness the entire thing. So like I said, “everything we do moves us toward or away from the life we want to lead.” Let’s choose wisely people. Really!!! 

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Do We Really Want What We Think We Want? Really???

Lately, my three-year old has developed this habit of getting up at 5:40 a.m. on the dot. He has been doing this for three years, but saying lately makes me feel like this is some seasonal occurrence that will eventually come to an end. To triumph over tiny feet that will no doubt come tiptoeing in my room each morning with demands of cartoons, soy milk and sunshine, I have even resorted to adding that he will sleep an extra twenty minutes to our nightly prayers. Somewhere between pleas for world peace and a California budget I now find myself asking for just a little more shuteye and this morning I finally got it. For some reason my son opted to sleep in, and even with my three-foot alarm clock resting serenely in his room, I still woke up anyway. No amount of counted sheep or eyes squeezed shut could usher me back to dreamland. Thirty minutes passed and another thirty and another. The anxiety of holding back the start of the day started to weigh on me. I even began to think maybe something is wrong. Maybe he wants to get out of bed, but his stuffed toys, remote control cars and strategically crafted Lego creations have buried him under a pile of Disney disaster. I rushed into his room and ripped the covers from his toy story tailored body. His back rose up and down in a steady rhythm assuring me that he was at least breathing. But it’s been three years. Every day and even on weekends as predictable as the world time clock he strikes at 5:40. Why today? Why is he still asleep? “Wake up son!” It’s morning. C’mon, it’s wake up time.” Something must be wrong. Between gritted teeth, a drooled stained cheek and crust coated eyes, my time keeping toddler finally managed to groan: “go back to sleep Mommy. The milk is in the fridge.” As I sat alone watching an episode of his favorite Handy Manny cartoon, I couldn’t help but think--Really???  So do we really want the things we think we do? Can we handle our wishes once they're granted? Sometimes we get so used to the steady beat of our own madness that we miss the moment when the reprieve appears. Thank God for second chances. Crossing fingers for one tomorrow morning.  Really!!!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Dear Obama--Signed Sincerely, Really???

Dear President Obama:

I know you're busy fighting a war you said you would end & extending unemployment benefits because God knows people need it. I'm also thankful for your college loan forgiveness plans & home ownership remedy via the NACA program, but if you can squeeze it in your schedule to please address these DAMN GAS PRICES, I'd be forever grateful. Are we supposed to just get used to this and get excited if they drop to the still insane price of $3.15 a gallon? Really??? Please add this to your "to do"
list. I have a few republican "circumstances" paired with long standing democratic principles, so I feel you on the tough choices. Let me help you out. If people could afford gas to get to work they might stay employed. Thanks a bunch!

Sincerely yours, 

Overworked and Underpaid Teacher (writing this while pumping gas at an LA gas station). 

P.S. Please give my best to Shell. Call me for lunch girl! Let's kick it! Really!!!